yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
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