i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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