Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
