Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Two words: nipple clamps
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