I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Randomize
