I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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