My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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