Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
