By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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