I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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