If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
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