Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
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