Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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