I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
