he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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