Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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