Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
