Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
