He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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