But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
