Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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