you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
