You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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