Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
