I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
