Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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