Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
