Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Randomize
