so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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