i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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