Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
