he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
