wake up i wanna do it froggy style
if only i could text you this smell
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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