Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
