if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
