I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
