So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
