Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
