One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
