i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
She needs sedatives and a leash
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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