The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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