sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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