Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
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