You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
