It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
