my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
