My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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