why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
