Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
