He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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